Foremost is the need for trust. Without some amount of trust, there will be
no cooperation or nonviolent resolution to conflict. For trust to flourish, it is
desirable for individuals to be willing to examine their attitudes and be open
to new ideas. Acknowledgment and appreciation of personal and cultural
differences promote trust. Neither approval nor friendship are necessary for
a good working relationship. By developing trust, the process of consensus
encourages the intellectual and emotional development of the individuals
within a group.

It is everyone’s responsibility to show respect to one another. People feel
respected when everyone listens, when they are not interrupted, when their
ideas are taken seriously. Respect for emotional as well as logical concerns
promotes the kind of environment necessary for developing consensus. To
promote respect, it is important to distinguish between an action which
causes a problem and the person who did the action, between the deed and
the doer. We must criticize the act, not the person. Even if you think the
person is the problem, responding that way never resolves anything.

Unity of purpose is a basic understanding about the goals and purpose of
the group. Of course, there will be varying opinions on the best way to
accomplish these goals. However, there must be a unifying base, a common
starting point, which is recognized and accepted by all.

Nonviolent decision-makers use their power to achieve goals while respecting
differences and cooperating with others. In this environment, it is considered
violent to use power to dominate or control the group process. It is under-
stood that the power of revealing your truth is the maximum force allowed
to persuade others to your point of view.

It is easy for people to unquestioningly rely on authorities and experts to do
their thinking and decisionmaking for them. If members of a group delegate
their authority, intentionally or not, they fail to accept responsibility for the
group’s decisions. Consensus promotes and depends upon self empowerment.
Anyone can express concerns. Everyone seeks creative solutions and is re-
sponsible for every decision. When all are encouraged to participate, the
democratic nature of the process increases.

Unfortunately, Western society is saturated in competition. When winning
arguments becomes more important than achieving the group’s goals, coop-
eration is difficult, if not impossible. Adversarial attitudes toward proposals
or people focus attention on weakness rather than strength. An attitude
of helpfulness and support builds cooperation. Cooperation is a shared re-
sponsibility in finding solutions to all concerns. Ideas offered in the spirit of
cooperation help resolve conflict. The best decisions arise through an open
and creative interplay of ideas.

The free flow of ideas, even among friends, inevitably leads to conflict. In
this context, conflict is simply the expression of disagreement. Disagreement
itself is neither good nor bad. Diverse viewpoints bring into focus and explore
the strengths and weaknesses of attitudes, assumptions, and plans. Without
conflict, one is less likely to think about and evaluate one’s views and preju-
dices. There is no right decision, only the best one for the whole group. The
task is to work together to discover which choice is most acceptable to all
members.
Avoid blaming anyone for conflict. Blame is inherently violent. It attacks
dignity and empowerment. It encourages people to feel guilty, defensive, and
alienated. The group will lose its ability to resolve conflict. People will hide
their true feelings to avoid being blamed for the conflict.
Avoidance of conflicting ideas impedes resolution for failure to explore and
develop the feelings that gave rise to the conflict. The presence of conflict
can create an occasion for growth. Learn to use it as a catalyst for discov-
ering creative resolutions and for developing a better understanding of each
other. With patience, anyone can learn to resolve conflict creatively, without
defensiveness or guilt. Groups can learn to nurture and support their mem-
bers in this effort by allowing creativity and experimentation. This process
necessitates that the group continually evaluate and improve these skills.

In joining a group, one accepts a personal responsibility to behave with re-
spect, good will, and honesty. Each one is expected to recognize that the
group’s needs have a certain priority over the desires of the individual. Many
people participate in group work in a very egocentric way. It is important
to accept the shared responsibility for helping to find solutions to other’s
concerns.

We all have an inalienable right to express our own best thoughts. We decide
for ourselves what is right and wrong. Since consensus is a process of syn-
thesis, not competition, all sincere comments are important and valuable. If
ideas are put forth as the speaker’s property and individuals are strongly at-
tached to their opinions, consensus will be extremely difficult. Stubbornness,
closed-mindedness, and possessiveness lead to defensive and argumentative
behavior that disrupts the process. For active participation to occur, it is
necessary to promote trust by creating an atmosphere in which every contri-
bution is considered valuable. With encouragement, each person can develop
knowledge and experience, a sense of responsibility and competency, and the
ability to participate.

Because of personal differences (experience, assertiveness, social condition-
ing, access to information, etc.) and political disparities, some people in-
evitably have more effective power than others. To balance this inequity,
everyone needs to consciously attempt to creatively share power, skills, and
information. Avoid hierarchical structures that allow some individuals to
assume undemocratic power over others. Egalitarian and accountable struc-
tures promote universal access to power.

Consensus cannot be rushed. Often, it functions smoothly, producing ef-
fective, stable results. Sometimes, when difficult situations arise, consensus
requires more time to allow for the creative interplay of ideas. During these
times, patience is more advantageous than tense, urgent, or aggressive be-
havior. Consensus is possible as long as each individual acts patiently and
respectfully